Pizza Cures Everything (sort of)

Yesterday was one of those shitty days where Murphy’s Law takes over and nothing goes right.  Nothing.

So, I sent a whiney text to the BFF.  She is always supportive and reminded me that everything will be okay and that pizza fixes everything.  Yes!! Pizza solves every problem that has ever existed.  I think it could even prevent wars.

Of course, she’s right.  She’s always right.

There is only one problem.

We live in a small town and the choices for (good) pizza are rather limited.  In small towns, there is always a Pizza Hut, correct?  

I would classify the entire day as one giant cluster and even Pizza Hut could potentially calm the savage beast inside of me.  The bad day clouded my judgment, I will admit. Desperation makes you do crazy things.

I’m pretty sure Pizza Hut’s pizza has about 2,300 mg of sodium per bite.  I know you know what I am talking about. Once you ingest just one slice, you are in a 24 hour state of chronic dehydration and there isn’t enough water on the planet to cure the unquenchable thirst that hits about an hour and a half later.  You must also contend with the hourly wake up all night long to rehydrate your sagging skin, failing organs, brittle fingernails, weakened hair follicles and all those other medical issues that occur.

Here is my solution.

The His and Her Pizza Hut Rehydration Kit for the Extremely Lazy.  It's in our bedroom as we speak. I’m going to be rich!